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Getting what you want - The Seizing of Opportunity

An insightful person said, "Confidence is either a gift or an acquisition."  In the case of acquisition, it is born of opportunities successfully taken.  Whenever, an opportunity is declined because of fear, confidence is weakened.  This means that the lack of confidence is emphasized. 

So when you have an opportunity to network with someone who fits your networking action plan i.e., a person who represents a bridge to furthering your personal goals in the social or business arena and you fail to act, you are in fact reducing your ability to act confidently in the future.  You are reinforcing your lack of confidence. 

When you fail to act, you are probably justifying the lack of action in your mind.  You say to yourself, oh its not the right time, this not the right place, they may become hostile if I speak to them.  Oh come off it.  It’s not that complicated. 

What you are actually doing is using your own self talk to work against your own goals.

Everytime you take a positive step that focuses your confidence on a goal, your confidence becomes stronger and stronger.  Okay, so we don't run up on the President of Wachovia Bank and ask for the vice president position in the middle of his lunch.  However, we do make strategic contact with him during the cocktail party if only to exchange a business card.   



Here are some steps to increasing your networking confidence:

    1.   Pay attention.  You should develop a readiness to seize opportunity by exercising alertness to all minor affairs of life.  The person who is dedicated to networking success is concerned with every detail in life.

    2.  Accept the Opportunity - You must with confidence real or forced, accept every opportunity that comes your way; believe unflinchingly that you will succeed and shut the door of your mind to all fear and worry.

    3.  Seek Opportunity - Whenever you get the chance, seek out opportunities that are not apparent and create chances that do not already exist. 

  4.  Deny Failure - If you allow failure thought to manifest in your mind, it may take root.  If in any instance, when you feel you have not done as well as you planned.  Keep it to yourself.  Do not display a lack of confidence to others.  Here’s the concept.  When you deny the lack of confidence, you partially crush its impact.  However, if you reveal it others, you have to contend with not only your own mistrust, but the seed that you have planted in others. 




Whenever an opportunity is accepted, opposite effects follow

Your self image is how your view yourself.  If you see yourself as a failure, there is no way you can be successful until you change your self image of yourself. 

A friend of mine worked at well known advertising firm in Center City.  He dreamed of running his own department.  Yet at business functions, he insisted on wearing jeans, sneakers and a sports jacket. He knew that all the department heads would be wearing two piece suits.  He claimed he felt uncomfortable in suits.  Well, you can imagine how uncomfortable he felt, when the department head job become open and was awarded to a less talented co worker who fit the company's image.  My friend missed some basic principles which are all apart of the inner game. 

The first principle is create an image in your own mind of what success looks like to you.  If you dream of being a department head and all the department heads were business suits than your self image should see yourself in a business suit.  You should also see yourself interacting with your colleagues with ease and confidence.  The second principle has to do with people identifying you with power.  "Act like you are the man and people will treat you like you are the man". 


In order to develop yourself as a successful networker, you must began with yourself.   It does not matter whether you a successful sales person, businesswoman, lawyer, social worker or baseball ball player.  They all have something in common that gives them the winning edge--an inner game.  Their self image is one of success.  They know how they fit into the game. 


They practice within while they await their turn to execute.  They do this repeatedly and consistently.    By the time, it is their turn at bat, or to present, they are ready for success.  They can feel it, smell it and taste it.  They wrap themselves around themselves as a successful proposition.


Learn how to visualize your success

There are three simple steps: 

Step one – Visualize – Practice visualization three times a day.  Practice once in the morning; before you go to sleep at night and at least one time during the day.  Find a quiet place and visualize yourself as successful proposition.  If you are looking for new networking contacts, than visualize yourself at different places, identifying prospects, making contact and exchanging information.  Visualize and hear the words you will saying and the positive outcome.  Experience the moment.  If order to bring this to a reality, you must conceive, believe and then you will achieve.

Step two – Practice. Practice. Practice. You must constantly reinforce your own self image as a successful networker.   Practice in your mind in the morning before work.   Practice at night before you sleep.  The evening practice is especially effective because you are programming your subconscious mind.   See yourself execute.  As a man thinks, so is his world.

Step three – Execute.  Just do it.  You must execute.  For every successful attempt, reinforces your confidence and ability to do better.  If you are not successful, then practice in your mind, what you want to happen.  Replay your actions, modify your play and than execute again.  Jump back on the horse and ride!

Step Four – Place yourself in all forums where you can practice and executive your skills.  Take yourself to a Professional Networking Events and practice, improve and execute.

Michael Rice
Motivational Speaker/Trainer